New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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