Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
