dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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