Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
