At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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