are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
