Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
