If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
