My balls are so social today.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
