So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
