It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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