I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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