she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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