I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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