im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
