Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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