i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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