He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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