Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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