ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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