69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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