I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
