i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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