batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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