It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
