she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize