U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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