Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
