i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
