I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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