Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
