You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
