you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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