Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
