I feel like I'm in dance class right now
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
