Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
