i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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