She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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