so explain again why im purple
no
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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