so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
