oh god the rape fog is back!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
