so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
