I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
