I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
