I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
