i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
