i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
