i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
