Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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