So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
