I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
