sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
