That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
