I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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