how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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