I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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